Hello and welcome to episode 59 of The Ask Sri Vishwanath Show. Today I want to talk about how to deal with big mistakes in your life and Krishna’s strategy for dealing with mistakes.
Today’s question comes from Keith and he says “I am a counsellor and a lot of my clients come to me for answers to the mistakes they have made in relationships, work and family life. Some of these mistakes are irreversible. What do the great ones suggest? Can you give me some tips?”
Thanks for the question. I think we all have this problem at some stage. We all make mistakes. Some are big and some are small but we all make them.
First of all, you must congratulate anyone who owns the mistake. The fact that they know it’s a big mistake and they want to take responsibility for it is a really great thing. The first big step is owning the mistake.
All the great ones say that there are 3 further steps. These steps are proven to work and they work fast. They can really help people get over these mistakes.
Guilt
Sometimes when you are in a relationship you make a huge mistake and it can be irreversible. Sometimes you just can’t correct it. Or maybe in work you cheated someone out of money. Sometimes things like this cannot be reversed. So the first step is realising the guilt. There is guilt and a feeling of having done wrong inside you. This guilt has to be dissolved before you do anything.
Krishna says this feeling of guilt is a transformation in the heart of your consciousness. You must clear your consciousness. This guilt comes again and again like a wave which causes a transformation. It will keep hitting you so you must dissolve it. You can’t just carry it with you without it affecting you.
You should know that you are not guilty. Yes you have done something wrong but you are not guilty because the guilt is not coming from within you. It’s coming from the tamas gunas. This does not represent your consciousness. It is a transformation that must be dissolved.
Krishna says the first thing before you do anything else, you must meditate. It’s very easy to do this. I just want you to write down two verses of the Bhagavad Git and read them to yourself.
Transformations
Here is the first one: “The sage neither hates light, action, delusion when they appear nor seek them when they disappear. Seated as if indifferent he is not disturbed by constituents. He stills not, is of steadfast resolve holding that constituents alone prevail.”
The sage neither hates light action or delusion. There are three gunas’: sattvic the divine) rajasic (the intellectual) and tamasic (the instinctive). Krishna says these are all waves. Any transformation in you, good or bad, is a wave. Krishna says you are not the waves. You are the ocean – the consciousness. The sage neither hates sattvic, rajasic or tamasic gunas when they appear but he also does not look for them when they disappear. The wave doesn’t force him to act but it also doesn’t force him not to act. He treats all these transformations within him, both good and bad, as a wave.
So when you meditate you can feel this guilt coming. Just know that it is a wave. The sage knows that these sattvic, rajasic and tamasic waves that are good and bad are just transformations. The sage know that theses waves do not represent him. You are the consciousness and the consciousness does not feel guilt. This is very important. This is not philosophy it is fact. These waves do not represent you. Only your consciousness represents you.
Repeat the verse over and over. “The sage neither hates light, action, delusion when they appear nor seek them when they disappear. Seated as if indifferent he is not disturbed by constituents. He stirs not, is of steadfast resolve holding that constituents alone prevail.” Understand that this guilt is just a wave and it does not represent you. When you keep repeating it these waves of guilt will go further and further away from you. Then they will not cause transformations within you. You will be calm and happy.
You can’t run away from guilt. You must face those waves and dissolve them but when you make the effort it will work and you will be much happier.
The second verse I want you to concentrate on is: “Him the weapons cannot cut, fire cannot burn, water cannot wet, wind cannot dry. The self cannot be cut, dried, burned or wetted…Eternal, all pervasive, stable, immovable, everlasting the Self Reigns.”
Consciousness
Him the weapons cannot cut means your consciousness cannot be cut or burned. It cannot feel guilt or shame. None of these waves can affect the consciousness. The consciousness is always serene and beautiful. What happened is the reality. Yes those mistakes were made but another fact is that the consciousness is also a reality. The guilt and shame – this is not real. That is not reality. It is an illusion.
So your clients need to write these verses down every day and read them every day. Do it in the morning and in the evening. Do it for seven days. There is no reason for it not to work. It is fact. I know it will help your clients.
Reveal
The second step is to reveal what has happened to everyone who needs to know. It may be your wife or your husband or a co-worker, whoever it doesn’t really matter who it is. Reveal it and make it clear. You will be detached so you don’t need to worry about what will happen after it. You won’t have to worry because you will have so much strength and courage inside of you. Remember this is the second step. First you must dissolve the guilt then you can reveal what has happened to the people that need to know.
Give
The final step is to give. Give to a charity or help the poor. Do whatever you can but make sure it is a selfless act to help someone else. When you do this your heart will open up wide and it will be for for god’s grace. God’s grace will descend and wonderful things will happen. You will be able to forgive. You will feel love, joy and happiness. You will also be fit to receive forgiveness for the mistakes you have made.
I hope I answered your question Keith and I hope this advice will help you to help your clients. Remember you keep asking questions and I’ll keep answering them.
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